How to Save Face
Grab a set of buzz/clippers and clear out the bulk down to your bare skin as much as possible.
There are many industries in which the menly men folk work hard outdoors, or inside all day long where a clean shaven face is both unnecessary and frowned upon. Having said that, there may fall a day upon which your significant other requests that the Forrest of protective bristles not just be mowed down for a certain occasion, but removed completely. Fret not, for I have a few suggestions by which you may complete the task with which you have been saddled, and to do so with style and then some.
Buzz down as much as possible. If your grizzly has wondered clear past your collar, or somewhere thereabouts, than there are a few steps you need to accomplish before you reach for the straight blade. Grab a set of buzz/clippers and clear out the bulk down to your bare skin as much as possible.
Next, grab a clean washcloth, drench with the hottest water you can stand, and massage that mug for no less than 2 minutes. This will not only get some of the remaining bristles out of your way, but also helps to open your pours and begin to soften the remains. Repeat if necessary.
Use some pre-shave oil. Drop a teaspoon sized or less amount of this good stuff into your palm and work into the face, apply elbow grease now as needed for pressure is helpful in kneeding the skin with the oil and softening the beard in prep for the blade.
Lather it up. There are a variety of shave creams and gels on the market today. Have you tried shave butter? It is an excellent alternative which has morphed from a fad into a tool of choice for the decisive gentleman. Shave butter doesn't lather and clog up your blade, and it's clarity permits you to actually see what you are carving rather than guessing that somewhere underneath the fluffy white is your face awaiting a clean shave.
Blades are sold in as much variety as creams and butters, from the number of blades to the handles, weights, and finally quality. I have yet to personally use a vintage straight razor, but when a barber used one on this questionable character ... Let me tell you the wifey benefits far outweighed the cost in the chair. 'Nuff said. Simply put, razors have a shelf life and after a couple of uses it may be time to retire the blade. The duller the blade the worse the shave.
Ok, so you have swooshed away the prickly inhabitants, and it is time to finish up. Grab that warm cloth once more, wet with hot water, wipe everything on that face one last time. Now splash with cold water to close the pours, follow with some after shave splash to cure any nicks or cuts and after a couple of minutes massage some balm into that beautiful mug. Something with menthol, ,eucalyptus, or tea tree will provide both some cooling effects as well as a fresh feeling.
Follow the aforementioned tips for the best shave ever and you will enjoy all the benefits of a clean shaven face, yet imminently more important ... so will she, but then again ... That's just my humble opinion.