Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

     Last month I wrote an article about offering thanks to others for what you have, for what they bring, beginning with the small things.  If you would permit me, I would like to replicate that from a different perspective.  Allow me to elaborate.

     I had the pleasure of screening one of my favorite movies of all time with my three boys the other night.  The dim lighting fueled the buttery-salty filled atmosphere as we munched on some gourmet popcorn, sipped ice-cold Coca-Cola, laughed and cried as Steve Martin showed some kind of strange unconditional love to a complete stranger as life or something like it presented him practically stuck together on his journey from New York back to his home in Chi-town to reunite with his loving family for Thanksgiving, but what would be a brief warm flight from one port to another without concern for his gloves, took a slight detour through which he gained a powerful life-lesson as portrayed through the eyes of Director John Hughes in the holiday classic, "Planes, Trains, & Automobiles."

     I am the kind of weird guy who has since removed the term "coincidence" from my vocabulary believing that when I wind up sitting next to a chatterbox on a plane or riding along the interstate in a half burnt automobile in one degree weather with no rear view mirror or functioning turn signals, but oddly enough the radio still works, that perhaps there is more to the situation than what is currently presented and I should take note from famed comedian, Steve Martin, who in this case, despite the dire circumstances and unbelievably annoyances, lack of hygiene, and apparent obstacle to his destination, that maybe there is a grand design and we could share a little love to those who may not have it as good as we do, or are simply down on their "luck". Maybe we could completely throw them for a loop in offering help to someone who is far better off than us, and they walk away humbled by this strange unconditional love that we are willing to share with them regardless of status, dress code, or income level.

     I, like many others, would generally avoid such potential problems for fear of stepping out of my comfort zone, and in doing so missed many a blessing to other people.  The attitude which I have tried to adapt, as difficult as it is is to embrace the change for which you seek if you honestly make the decision, deciding in your heart that from here on out your life will be about something other than you, and lived out on purpose rather than accident, but then again...that’s just my humble opinion.

Wear It Anyway

When I was a kid there were certain clothes that I wanted to wear, but didn't because I knew I would catch a verbal beating from my "friends".  There wasn't anything wrong with the clothes or even the label, but they were different than what my friends were used to seeing within their circles or clicks.  When I grew older, I would refrain from listening to opera or classical music if I had someone else in the car with me as I knew they would mock it, and I didn't care to hear the criticism.  Yesterday that called it making fun of someone.  Can you imagine that?  What an obscure notion, mocking someone for their preference of music.  Today it is often referred to as bullying.  Everywhere you look there are campaigns against bullying within the schools, "stop bullying",  "stand up", and so on.  The reality of bullying is this, that it will never stop because making fun of someone else due to your own insecurities has always been a part of this society, and until we can teach kids and adults alike to find more confidence in something other than their attire, appearance, or number of social media  "followers/likes...bullying will always be a part of this thing called life.

They mocked me regardless of what I wore with style and then some, how I spoke, and how I walked.  It did not matter if I would attempt to change in accordance with how they perceived me or with whom I hung around.  They had their target, and for the moment I was in the crosshairs.  Little that I said made any difference and wouldn't you know it, 20 years later people are the same.  How miserable the person who delights in the condescending of others, how drab an existence, how enslaved they are in their own self-pity and grim projection of a mirrored ugliness gripping their soul tightly choking light from peering through the darkness of self-hatred and envy.  I realized that their problem had nothing to do with me or my attire, but rather with themselves.  They were in some kind of predicament at home or at school and their only outlet was to take it out on someone else, predicatbly it would be the person closest, and if they could get others to laugh about what they just said or who they just punched, then their rating just went up in the eyes of their "friends".  It makes me wonder how different life might be for our young people if they cared less about what others thought and more about finding out who they truly are.  

     Do you recall when the fashion industry first started making pink polos for men?  And it threw the world of insecure people into a feeding frenzy on how there must be something wrong with you if boys wear that color.  The bow tie took a dirt knap for about 30 years and was then recently resurrected and once again finds itself in the limelight outside of professors in academia. In a round-a-bout way, I suppose my point is this, if they are going to mock you anyway, you might as well wear the pink polo.  Some guys have the Seinfeld-like cherry hew in their cheeks to pull it off and others do not.  Whip out that bow tie and try it on for size.  While I would never recommend going outside of your own color palette, I would definitely try something new and see if it fits both your style and personality.  If it compliments  those two criteria, Vaya Con Dios.  Haters gonna hate, and people gonna eat donuts, but...then again...that's just my humble opinion.

Putting It On

     Zig Ziglar, a famous motivational speaker with humble beginnings in the sales industry would talk for great periods of time, jumping up and down on stage, even in his elder years...about an attitude of gratitude and its importance that it should and must play in our lives.  Now, let me be perfectly clear.  I was naturally a pessimistic individual, and if you are unfamiliar with the term permit me a moment to elaborate.  I can find a dark cloud within any silver lining.  I would simply need a moment or two.  The glass is half-empty and usually filled with stale soda.  Brighter side? Paaleeaze!  I have been, however, attending regular meetings and am now considered a "recovering pessimist".  I get my one year token in...ah, who am I kidding?  I'll never make it that long.

     Through the many graces of my higher power, and much patience on the part of my lovely wife, I am slowly, but...slowly with style and then some learning how to be grateful for what I have and dressing in an attitude of gratitude.  If you are like me, and are in some pessimistic recovery program then you know precisely of that which I speak.  If you are seeking a way to begin to become humble and thankful, but are unsure of where to start...I may have a couple of suggestions.

     1. Begin small.  Hundreds of thousands of people all across this great nation of ours just took their last breath, are currently on their deathbed, or just lost a loved one.  Can you still breathe?  Are you able to sit up, walk around, and eat healthy Krispy Kreme Donuts?  Did you put your own clothes on yourself? Brush your own teeth?  Comb your own hair?  If you just answered yes to any or all of those...give thanks.

     2.  Take a look around.  Do you still have your parents with you?  Many do not.  Do you have friends? Spouse? Children? Consider them a blessing and give thanks.  Do you have clothing? Money in the bank? vehicle? job? paycheck? Home? Freedom to practice your faith? One does not have to Google too long before discovering that many in the world do not have clothes on their back, Benjamins in the bank, change in their pocket going jingle-jingle-jingle.  Many do not have a job, let alone one they enjoy.  They do not have a vehicle to get them back and forth, to and fro.  You probably know folks who do not receive a check at the end of the week and if you ever visit the big cities have definitely come across a few who do not have a home they call their own in which they bake cookies with their grandma, play games around the dinner table, or host thanksgiving.  Give praise.

     3.  The first two will seem like child's play compared to this, ready?  Give thanks out loud, to someone, for someone, for something.  Write a note and hand-deliver it.  Pick up the phone and call.  Go directly to your boss, your parent, your teacher, your child, and verbally...eye-to-eye offer gratitude for the work they do that you'll never see; for the lessons they have taught you, or for the effort they make at school and at home.  Do this very thing, if nothing else, and you will walk away on air giving the other person wings, but...then again...that's just my humble opinion.